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The Funniest Excuse you can give not to go to work - Hardtuned.net

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The Funniest Excuse you can give not to go to work 

excuse fired work sacked job funny funniest liar
34 replies to this topic

#1 Toro Seven

    It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile, winning&#

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Posted 27 December 2011 - 11:18 AM

I really wanted to open up this thread as I can imagine the hilarious amount of responses this will grab from my following attempt to get out of work..

This was sent to my boss, yesterday at 12.20am

"Hi ***,
Sorry its late notice, but I have just received a telecommunication message that I will be flying to the moon with NASA tomorrow at 1030 and counting.....

Sooooo, I can't come to work... :)

I wanted to get some hilarious, jaw dropping excuses people have pulled to get out of work..


#2 STR8E180

  • Joined:30-April 03
  • Location:Australia NSW
  • Car:GTR R34 V-SPEC

Posted 29 December 2011 - 06:17 AM

In spending the day in bed with your wife can't come to work

#3 DKZ

  • Joined:16-January 08
  • Location:Australia ACT
  • Car:S15 200SX

Posted 29 December 2011 - 06:24 AM

Told a supervisor I was pregnant and had to have the day off sick..

I'm a male.


  • Joined:12-October 10
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:Ra Rodeo

Posted 29 December 2011 - 06:24 AM

Cant come in today cause I'm sick

#5 Toro Seven

    It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile, winning&#

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Posted 29 December 2011 - 09:04 AM

View Postswaggedout, on 29 December 2011 - 03:30 AM, said:

i have anal blindness, i cant see my ass coming to work.

Lol at this one..

This will be next week's excuse.

Trying too see how many attempts it will take to get myself sacked!!


#6 Eevo

  • Joined:07-January 07
  • Location:Australia SA

Posted 29 December 2011 - 09:12 AM

religious holiday
feast of maximum occupancy.

#7 S14 200

  • Joined:01-May 08
  • Location:Australia NSW
  • Car:200sx S14a

Posted 29 December 2011 - 09:31 AM

violent diarrhea

#8 Toro Seven

    It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile, winning&#

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Posted 29 December 2011 - 09:39 AM

I locked my keys outside!

#9 DRE20

  • Joined:22-June 10
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:97 s14a

Posted 29 December 2011 - 09:51 AM

i once rang my boss and said ''hey mate, i'm umm... Feeling pretty average.'' and he says back ''well why don't you have an average day off'' and laughed then hung up on me! Haha wat a champion!

#10 Steven_ONEVIA

  • Joined:28-August 07
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:commodore maaate

Posted 29 December 2011 - 11:34 AM

sleept in, called boss and told him theres a giant pool of oil under my car and trying to figure out wtf happened told me to take my time etc etc, went back to sleep

#11 LOLspec

  • Joined:25-January 10
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:2001 s15 ADM

Posted 29 December 2011 - 01:21 PM

violent diarrhea ive used it before! hahah

#12 zeropsi

  • Joined:02-July 11
  • Location:Australia SA
  • Car:Fagstra

Posted 29 December 2011 - 02:36 PM

Rang up 10 minutes before an understaffed shift at Woolies. Told them I got another job and wont be coming in anymore.

#13 owensy

  • Joined:08-November 09
  • Location:Australia SA
  • Car:r32 rb25, soarer

Posted 03 January 2012 - 07:19 PM

called me supervisor once, said i had to wash my cat

didnt work out to well, still got the day off


#14 SK!D

  • Joined:27-December 08
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:s13

Posted 03 January 2012 - 07:22 PM

View PostS14 200, on 29 December 2011 - 09:31 AM, said:

violent diarrhea

Explosive Diarrhea

#15 MidnightMods

  • Joined:19-December 03
  • Location:Australia VIC

Posted 03 January 2012 - 07:28 PM

Too sore from a meth masturbation marathon

#16 Strewth01

  • Joined:02-February 08
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:180sx

Posted 03 January 2012 - 07:29 PM

View PostMidnightMods, on 03 January 2012 - 07:28 PM, said:

Too sore from a meth masturbation marathon
Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Shame.

#17 23-GTR

  • Joined:11-May 09
  • Location:Australia SA
  • Car:Bicycle

Posted 03 January 2012 - 07:30 PM

Worked at Harris Scarfe as a christmas casual when I was in high school for about a week, the work was ok but managers were naggy old hags. I had somthing I needed to take one day off work for and when I told them I needed this off she told me that I was supposed to have full availability as I was a christmas casual (I asked for ONE day off weeks in advance) so the next shift I had i didnt rock up, she rang me and I told her that I wasnt working there anymore

Edited by 23-GTR, 03 January 2012 - 07:30 PM.

#18 King Troll

  • Joined:28-June 10
  • Location:Australia WA
  • Car:JUN s15

Posted 03 January 2012 - 07:33 PM

working at hjs i called up an hour before my shift

"yeh....i cant come in today"
"well why not? you have to come in"
"iv got an interview at bunnings.... awkward...."

they werent happy :P

#19 Rolled Cambers

  • Joined:14-July 09
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:Nissan Silvia s13.

Posted 03 January 2012 - 08:20 PM

^Same, worked at Hj's for 25 mins.
First day in, summer heat, they got me cooking the meat. Went toilet, took my clothes off and left em in the cubicle, locked the door and jumped out, snuck out through the back, as I was walking home got a call from them asking me where I am.
Told em I was in the toilet.
Got a call back and they said I forgot to hand in my hat Hahahaha.

I've always used hospital excuses.

One time I worked 5 min drive from home. Didn't go into work cause my car was f**ked, boss calls and asks where I am, told him I was sick as a doc.
Then as I'm under the car doing an oil change he stands there and talks to me. Didn't know it was him until I got out hahaha.
Didn't get fired, he knew my car was a pos at the time. Just told me to tell the truth.

#20 GBear

  • Joined:04-February 04
  • Car:Nissan S13 '93 180SX

Posted 04 January 2012 - 05:51 PM

few years back when i was working two jobs, my second job was starting to shit me. they knew i worked full time already and told them i'm only able to work at night and not too long, they kept asking me to work longer shifts and got cut when i had to turn them down every now and then.

anyways, after about 6 months, one night I got totally wasted with friends at a club and i was working in the morning the next day. couldn't be fked. so i called up and said "i'm not coming in" and the guy on the phone was like "why not? you sick?" and I replied, "nah, i quit"

lol guy didn't know what to say! and that was that!

Edited by GBear, 04 January 2012 - 05:52 PM.

#21 beamboy

  • Joined:28-June 08
  • Location:Australia NSW
  • Car:S13 Silvia

Posted 04 January 2012 - 06:05 PM

Wasn't really an excuse but Monday morning 'locked up in Kings Cross police station'.

#22 Laundo

  • Joined:06-April 05
  • Location:Australia ACT

Posted 06 January 2012 - 09:42 AM

not me but a REAL excuse, Wife's father was hung over one monday, got his missus to ring up, she was hung over too and not all with it so told them he broke his arm on the weekend so would not be in.

rocked up tuesday no cast, boy he is a quick healer

#23 >TK<

  • Joined:30-March 08
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:Silvia S14

Posted 16 January 2012 - 09:39 AM

Called work to tell them i couldnt make it in one day, they asked why and my response was

"I'm still quite intoxicated and I believe it is against OHS regulations to operate a forklift in my state"

lol the funniest part was they said ok, we will see u tomorrow. never got sacked or told off about it. probably cos they couldnt find workers to replace me if they got rid of me. i actually quit that job 3 times later that year lol

#24 kranze

  • Joined:17-October 08
  • Location:Australia SA
  • Car:NM35

Posted 16 January 2012 - 12:59 PM

View PostEevo, on 29 December 2011 - 09:12 AM, said:

religious holiday
feast of maximum occupancy.



  • Joined:27-July 05
  • Location:Australia NSW

Posted 20 January 2012 - 12:53 PM

yeast infection

#26 shortshifta

  • Joined:14-August 05
  • Location:Australia VIC
  • Car:200sx

Posted 20 January 2012 - 03:20 PM

One of the forkies at work called in "sick" yesterday because he got a blister on his foot(mind you he never gets off the forklift, except to walk to the tea room for smoko's).

#27 Slippery Gypsy

  • Joined:01-October 03
  • Location:Australia VIC

Posted 20 January 2012 - 03:24 PM

Funniest I used which was true was I went out the night before, Got smashed with boys from Tafe from other companies (We did night school) and woke up at 11am at her place... Boss didn't beleive me. Then I showed him photos.

These days, If I cbf working or whatever, Just tell the boss and hes like whatever, Take the day off.. Winnah.

#28 RosscoS15

  • Joined:05-December 08
  • Location:Australia NSW
  • Car:Nissan Silvia S15

Posted 30 January 2012 - 11:50 AM

Once when I was 16 said I had been stung by a bee.. needless to say that told me not to come back

#29 Milamber

  • Joined:22-March 11
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:s13 Ca18DET

Posted 30 January 2012 - 02:55 PM

Im usually pretty honest.

I called in sick the day after Australia day last year and just said "Im still drunk" and hung up.

How I still have my job I have no idea.

#30 free_state

  • Joined:17-June 09
  • Location:Australia QLD
  • Car:s13 ca18det

Posted 30 January 2012 - 04:39 PM

Bloke from my work didn't show up one monday morning , boss rang him to ask where the *swearing filters own me* he was , His brilliant excuse was "oh .. I forgot" .. lol moron .

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