Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
robzilla

Blind Dates

Recommended Posts

ROFLMFAO BAHAH BAHAHA BAHHAHA :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

maybe she was trying to kill 4 birds with one stone...

 

eat cake while getting f**ked.. by a guy named kemp who is asian.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

HAHAHAHAHA! That was absolute gold Kemp! I can't stop laughing! You've made my day today!

 

 

 

 

 

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ...............................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cheddar has the prize for the most consistently entertaining stories, but Kemp has the funniest story by far, that shit is farking hilarious!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Words cannot describe the hilarity!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
kemp. for the love of god and baby f**king jesus WHY????

i wanted to try all type's :lol: hAHAHHAha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

haha... dis shi_t is gold... its like one of my mates, who wants to get beaten by a fat girl. I mean physically beaten. that's his fantasy... wats da world comin 2??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kemp wins the thread. Even though it wasn't a blind date thats still a f**king ripper of a story :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

effin' lol!!!!!!

 

dear god... oh and cheddar - adelaide guys are weird like that - try victor.. some bloody good talent down that way!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

mmm so what dont you like about short guys eh Cheddar? just interested too see your perspective cause to me it seems abit shallow.....

 

see ive been in the same situation though i WAS the short guy.. now im croatian so everyone expects me to be over 180cm tall.. but unfortunatly.. im only 5"4ish ..YES.. thats right, im 164cm tall!!

 

now ALOONGGG time ago a mate was dating this chick, she was a real Lowie, he met her on the net bla bla bla.. they hooked up etc etc. back then i was still single and my mate wanted to hook me up with one of her mates as he though sweet easy score for me.

 

so i was over his house and he was yacking on the phone to her for over 2 hours, and wanted to have a shower, it was a 3 way convo between the chick he was hooking up with, her mate and him. so he passed me the phone and i talked to em while he washed up.. i was talking to them for over half a hour and was cracking the odd joke etc they telling me i sound hot and what i looked like etc...

 

now i repeatedly told them im practically the same height as a garden gnome and was making jokes that i was the shortest croatian in history and they just laughed along... laping it all up. they seemed keen to meet me too and the mate wanted to hook up so the 4 of us organised a date at the movies... so we rock up and this chick takes one look at me and snobs me off... doesnt say a single word to me the whole night, the friend that my mate is hookin up with is all friendly and such and then this other mole pulls my mate aside and says "OMG look how short he is! nxt time bring someone like you" ( my mate is over 6")

 

he told her to get f**ked in the middle of the cinema and then the chick he was hooking up cracked the shits at him "dont talk to my friend like that"

 

so he yells "F**k off dumb slut and take your whore bag friend with you! i only used you for sex! AHAHAWYEEEEEEEE!!!" and he picked me up over his shoulders and ran off making airoplane noises...

 

funniest night ever... best part was.. this chick that rejected me WAS EVEN SHORTER THAN ME!!!! :lol:

 

but im all good now... my current mrs is shorter than me too.. we are like munchkins... ive been with her for over 2 years now and all is going great! :yes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ive got a blind date story but it isnt mine its my mates

 

anyways a friend of mine meet this chick on myspace and the photos on her myspace made her look half decent so they wanted to hook up with each other

they organised a date and they had each others phone numbers and my mate told me to go with him and he said

look i told her to meet infront of the shops and my mate said lets walk past have a look at her and if she looks good ill talk to her and if she looks like a bush pig lets just walk past and act like we are going shopping

anyways the time comes and we are walking towards the shops and his phone rings and its her the problem now is she called him while she was walking to the shops as well and she was right next to him at this point its to late to act like we are gonna go shopping because he answeared his phone right next to her :lol: i took one look at her and said buddy ur on ur own HAHaHAHAHhahahHAaHhA poor guy had to spend the whole day with the bush pig

at the end of the day when he came all the boys went over to his place to pay him out

DO NOT TRUST PHOTOS FOUND ON MYSPACE LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

does anybody have the temptation to get talking to two ugly girls on msn and then arrange to meet up with them at the same time and place... and not show up? Or just hide from far away and watch their reactions lol... call me an idiot but i think it would be funny lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hahaha i got another story

the blokes who live infront of my mates house are full ice junkies

anyways we use to go on mIRC and with a girly nick name and chat up guys and get them to come over and send them to this junkies house

and u know they are getting realli into it when they start replying realli fast

then all we had to do was play the waiting game while we sat there looking out his window laffing at all these idiots going to this junkies house hAHHAha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
does anybody have the temptation to get talking to two ugly girls on msn and then arrange to meet up with them at the same time and place... and not show up? Or just hide from far away and watch their reactions lol... call me an idiot but i think it would be funny lol

Tell them to sit on a particular bench and to take your photo so they can recognise you. Then sit back and wait to see how long it takes them to realise the girl next to them has the same photo. :woot::lol::lol::lol:

 

I like your thinking!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
does anybody have the temptation to get talking to two ugly girls on msn and then arrange to meet up with them at the same time and place... and not show up? Or just hide from far away and watch their reactions lol... call me an idiot but i think it would be funny lol

Tell them to sit on a particular bench and to take your photo so they can recognise you. Then sit back and wait to see how long it takes them to realise the girl next to them has the same photo. :woot::lol::lol::lol:

 

I like your thinking!!!

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

Oi who wants to do this... Im keen as pie! :lol:

 

Each one of us (as many of us as we like) get chatting to a girl online and get friendly with them, enough to eventually meet up fairly soonish. The ones towards the bottom of the gene pool should be pretty keen to grab some meat. We then all organise a time to get the girls to meet up at the same place and same time. We all use the same random photo that isnt actually us. This could be fun...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
hahaha i got another story

the blokes who live infront of my mates house are full ice junkies

anyways we use to go on mIRC and with a girly nick name and chat up guys and get them to come over and send them to this junkies house

and u know they are getting realli into it when they start replying realli fast

then all we had to do was play the waiting game while we sat there looking out his window laffing at all these idiots going to this junkies house hAHHAha

 

 

or we could just do it with dirty old men :lol: :lol: :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ok since Chad87 is one of my favorite members ill share the story again

 

B4 i start i want to make it clear

i know how shame full this is but ill share it just to make every one laf

this happen just after i left high skool

 

ive got this list of things to do and on the list it has

 

1. f*** red head

2. f*** fat bitch

 

NOTE: i do not find any of these a turn on, its just on my list of things to do, i wanna try all types of meat B4 im to old to

 

anyways i was at a party and i saw this fat red head and i thought why not?? i could kill to birds with one stone..

 

so i put my mack down on the fat smack down

anyways i went home with the fat cow anyways ill skip all the bullshit and get to the main part

when she stripped down u have no idea how turned of i was

just so u can have an understanding on wat type of turn off she was try and picture this.... FAT, skin white like papper, RED HAIR

anyways i was giving it to her with a limb dick because i couldnt get it full hard :lol: just as we started she goes STOP and im thinking yay im of the hook and she still counts as a red head and a fat chick so i can still cross IT of the list

just after i stop she goes over to the edge of the bed and pulls out a cake from under the bed!!!! who the f**K leaves cake under there bed??? and who the hell thinks about eating it half way threw sex???

i look at her and say where the f*** did u get that from??? and wat the f*** is it doing under ur bed?? then she tells me to start over again

by this time ive gone all soft and have to start over again i felt like crying but i was scared because the window was closed and it looked like it was locked as well

so we started going at it again doggy style and guess wat she was still eating the cake the fat bitch

i had enuff and couldnt take any more so i pulled him out and spat on her ass and said i shot my load on her fat ass

 

 

OMFG!!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

 

I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START!!!!

 

the fact taht you had a red head and fat chick on your to do list?

the fact athat you thoguht itd be awesome to knock off 2 birds with one stone ( but the 2 birds were really wierd fetishes maybe you shouldve had like a cool down period from one goal to the next)

she had a cake under the bed? (please!!! it be more believable if you were lying) YOU CANT BE SERIOUS?!?!?!! where teh cake come from? if i was you i wouldve asked for a pork roll while she was down there... im sure she got...

you got away with spitting on her back? HHAHAHA im surprised she didnt drink taht right up and bust your ass... after all she mustve been thirsty...

 

OMG i cant beleive it!!! where the hell was the cake... hahahhaa dude

 

if i was you and banging some fat red head... i would be scared at the start but once the cake comes out... i would jsut be curious... HAHAHAHHAHA

 

me: HEY HEY!! STOP EATING!!... whered the cake come from?!?!... listen to me!!!... whered the cake come from?

girl: moaning and stuffing her face with cake

 

the cake situation has pretty much made eveyr one forget that your porked a fat red head... every ones thinking

WHERE THE CAKE COME FROM... you know its one of those situation where you look away for one sec turn backa nd something unexpected happents...

 

so he yells "F**k off dumb slut and take your whore bag friend with you! i only used you for sex! AHAHAWYEEEEEEEE!!!" and he picked me up over his shoulders and ran off making airoplane noises...

HAHAHAHHA WTF!!! you serious... man you friend is one funny MO FO!!! HAHAHAHHAA man that would be bloody hilarious, imagine the ppl in the cinema!! what a story

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ok since Chad87 is one of my favorite members ill share the story again

 

B4 i start i want to make it clear

i know how shame full this is but ill share it just to make every one laf

this happen just after i left high skool

 

ive got this list of things to do and on the list it has

 

1. f*** red head

2. f*** fat bitch

 

NOTE: i do not find any of these a turn on, its just on my list of things to do, i wanna try all types of meat B4 im to old to

 

anyways i was at a party and i saw this fat red head and i thought why not?? i could kill to birds with one stone..

 

so i put my mack down on the fat smack down

anyways i went home with the fat cow anyways ill skip all the bullshit and get to the main part

when she stripped down u have no idea how turned of i was

just so u can have an understanding on wat type of turn off she was try and picture this.... FAT, skin white like papper, RED HAIR

anyways i was giving it to her with a limb dick because i couldnt get it full hard :lol: just as we started she goes STOP and im thinking yay im of the hook and she still counts as a red head and a fat chick so i can still cross IT of the list

just after i stop she goes over to the edge of the bed and pulls out a cake from under the bed!!!! who the f**K leaves cake under there bed??? and who the hell thinks about eating it half way threw sex???

i look at her and say where the f*** did u get that from??? and wat the f*** is it doing under ur bed?? then she tells me to start over again

by this time ive gone all soft and have to start over again i felt like crying but i was scared because the window was closed and it looked like it was locked as well

so we started going at it again doggy style and guess wat she was still eating the cake the fat bitch

i had enuff and couldnt take any more so i pulled him out and spat on her ass and said i shot my load on her fat ass

 

 

ROFLMAO

 

Thats an absolute classic.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
does anybody have the temptation to get talking to two ugly girls on msn and then arrange to meet up with them at the same time and place... and not show up? Or just hide from far away and watch their reactions lol... call me an idiot but i think it would be funny lol

Tell them to sit on a particular bench and to take your photo so they can recognise you. Then sit back and wait to see how long it takes them to realise the girl next to them has the same photo. :woot::lol::lol::lol:

 

I like your thinking!!!

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

Oi who wants to do this... Im keen as pie! :lol:

 

Each one of us (as many of us as we like) get chatting to a girl online and get friendly with them, enough to eventually meet up fairly soonish. The ones towards the bottom of the gene pool should be pretty keen to grab some meat. We then all organise a time to get the girls to meet up at the same place and same time. We all use the same random photo that isnt actually us. This could be fun...

 

lol that be fuken funny, jenny craig goin out on excursion on the town

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

iv been on blinde date once but nothing funny hapen, but this girl i went to school with knows im sleezy and i asked her if theres any sluts in her tafe class that hav msn, anyways so she got me 1, the pics were crap and i wasnt keep on meeting up with out knowing how she looks and my cuzn called me asking me if i kno any lowys so i thought id test it out on him and gave him her numba. him and his friend went to meet up with her she turned out to be a whale, my cuzn didnt wanna do anything so he gave the car to his mate and he got a head and then he was trying to bash me for trying to set him up with a whale. i found it funny i dont kno how use like it lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
does anybody have the temptation to get talking to two ugly girls on msn and then arrange to meet up with them at the same time and place... and not show up? Or just hide from far away and watch their reactions lol... call me an idiot but i think it would be funny lol

Tell them to sit on a particular bench and to take your photo so they can recognise you. Then sit back and wait to see how long it takes them to realise the girl next to them has the same photo. :woot::lol::lol::lol:

 

I like your thinking!!!

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

Oi who wants to do this... Im keen as pie! :lol:

 

Each one of us (as many of us as we like) get chatting to a girl online and get friendly with them, enough to eventually meet up fairly soonish. The ones towards the bottom of the gene pool should be pretty keen to grab some meat. We then all organise a time to get the girls to meet up at the same place and same time. We all use the same random photo that isnt actually us. This could be fun...

dan you are so cruel! how could you think of such a thing, those poor girls

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
does anybody have the temptation to get talking to two ugly girls on msn and then arrange to meet up with them at the same time and place... and not show up? Or just hide from far away and watch their reactions lol... call me an idiot but i think it would be funny lol

Tell them to sit on a particular bench and to take your photo so they can recognise you. Then sit back and wait to see how long it takes them to realise the girl next to them has the same photo. :woot::lol::lol::lol:

 

I like your thinking!!!

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

Oi who wants to do this... Im keen as pie! :lol:

 

Each one of us (as many of us as we like) get chatting to a girl online and get friendly with them, enough to eventually meet up fairly soonish. The ones towards the bottom of the gene pool should be pretty keen to grab some meat. We then all organise a time to get the girls to meet up at the same place and same time. We all use the same random photo that isnt actually us. This could be fun...

Something else i thought of, you should tell them that you'll be wearing a certain colour jacket like red or something. That way if after a while they haven't noticed each other, you could send a friend that looks similar to the photo to walk past in a red jacket, it would be hilarious to watch them all jump up yelling "Dan??" and then realise everyone else is doin the same thing!! :woot::lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mate of mine started smsing some chic he found via some vodafone chat room thing. He get her to send through a couple of pictures and he thought she looked alright so after talking on the phone a couple of times they decide to meet up.

 

He picked her up from her house and she proceeded to tell him she's 19 and not 21 like she said, has 2 kids under 2 years of age and her ex just got out of prison for aggravated assault. Then she turns, looks him dead in the eye and says "sorry, I'm on my rags but we can still root if you want." He drove her straight home, dropped her off at the end of her driveway in the rain and never spoke to her again. :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

note to all the girls on dan's msn.. dont meet up with him if you dont already know him in real life :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mate of mine started smsing some chic he found via some vodafone chat room thing. He get her to send through a couple of pictures and he thought she looked alright so after talking on the phone a couple of times they decide to meet up.

 

He picked her up from her house and she proceeded to tell him she's 19 and not 21 like she said, has 2 kids under 2 years of age and her ex just got out of prison for aggravated assault. Then she turns, looks him dead in the eye and says "sorry, I'm on my rags but we can still root if you want." He drove her straight home, dropped her off at the end of her driveway in the rain and never spoke to her again. :lol:

i can see 2 perspectives in that.. 1. the girl was making up crap coz she wasnt interested in him... or 2. she was being serious?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was thinking the same, she just wanted to turn him off because she thought he was ugly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
does anybody have the temptation to get talking to two ugly girls on msn and then arrange to meet up with them at the same time and place... and not show up? Or just hide from far away and watch their reactions lol... call me an idiot but i think it would be funny lol

Tell them to sit on a particular bench and to take your photo so they can recognise you. Then sit back and wait to see how long it takes them to realise the girl next to them has the same photo. :woot::lol::lol::lol:

 

I like your thinking!!!

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

Oi who wants to do this... Im keen as pie! :lol:

 

Each one of us (as many of us as we like) get chatting to a girl online and get friendly with them, enough to eventually meet up fairly soonish. The ones towards the bottom of the gene pool should be pretty keen to grab some meat. We then all organise a time to get the girls to meet up at the same place and same time. We all use the same random photo that isnt actually us. This could be fun...

 

Im down with that, see how many moles we could get together to meet their prospective dates in one place :lol::lol:

 

Oh speaking of blind dates, back in the day I got some birds msn some how anyway we started chatting and she sent me some pics which made her look ok, she was a tanker, but she knew how to work the angles :lol: Anyway went into town to meet up with her with a mate, couldnt bail cause she glimpsed me before I saw her. Anways basically I had to cruise around town with her for a few hours, later that night I messaged her saying im gay :lol:

 

*Note I have a mrs now been almost a year, jsut before anyone says anything

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I say we film it, document it and sell it to the masses!! :yes:

 

We could be rich! :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hahahahaha kemp you poor bastard.... makes you wonder how long she had been hiding that cake there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×