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1800nsuss

one liners

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One liners

 

Some oldies but goodies..

 

 

 

-Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

-Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

-We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

-The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

-If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

-Knowledge knows a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

-Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

-Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

-If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

-If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

-If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

-I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

-A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

-I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it... so I said "Implants?"

-The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

-God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

-The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

-A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

-The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

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-Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

 

:lol:

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-The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

-The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

 

 

laugh.gif So True

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